Resident Evil 5: Desperate Escape DLC - First 60 Minutes

Random Thoughts

I hope the hell this isn't like last time......

Having to skip the cutscene I saw way back in RE5 means now I don't know why Josh and Jill are together.... Oh like it really matters. Josh: "Hey it's Jill. Lets get the @#$% out of here!" Jill: "OK." If I didn't hit it exactly I came damn close.

Oh good I get to actually fight something this time. And their good old-fashioned Majini.

Lots of Majini.....

Holy crap that's a lot of Majini....

Ok that was a lot of Majini 15 minutes ago, this is Mercenaries on Super Modified Crack Cocai... Oh you have got to be kidding! {My reaction to four, yes four, Chainsaw Majini}

Executor Majini? O.o

Yes Josh, I want you to use the grenade Launcher. No Josh I don't want you to shoot the guys behind you, I'll handle that. Josh.... Josh! Don't make me shoot you Josh! {They really should have just labeled the context B option "Have partner touch grenade launcher for one second."}

Oh good, more executor Majini.

Holy crap it's quiet.... Ok soon as I blast that door open... yep here they come >.<

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
{My reaction to dying for the 5th time running around an area with what seems like infinite spawn Majini, 1 Executor Majini and 3-4 Big Man Majini. Also 2 Grenade Launcher placements right in front of me. Finally figured out to play "run around the storage crate" with the executor till the G launchers take him out. Hurray for Friendly Fire.}

Nice going Capcom, I felt like I was playing "Lets play relaxing RE5 Mercenaries" for the past 50 minutes and now you put the timer up. {Note: "Lets play relaxing" is a series of ROM hacks of old NES games. They're usually of the "Die in first 5 seconds if you don't push something" Variety.}

Gatling Gun Majini? T.T

{Vroom Vroom Vrooooooom}..... more chainsaw Majini..... yaaaay...

Oh screw this, I'm just running around in a corner for 5 minutes. Not Like I'm getting score for extending my time.

Or have the ability to extend..... my...... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
{My reaction to Doug saying he has to find an alternate route, thus adding 2 minutes to the timer.}

{Cue last Gatling Gun Majini} I don't even care anymore. T.T

{Cue final Cutscene. Note spoilers I guess} Ah Doug, you are probably the Only none dead RE series Helicopter pilo{kaboom}.... Apparently, rockets in the RE Universe are helicopter pilot seeking. {Seriously Figured he'd live since he's your pilot for Mercenaries. Oh well, he knew the risks, and the body count, of being a helicopter pilot in RE5. Seriously think they kill one every 1 and 1/2 games on average.}

Retrospect

I actually enjoyed this more than Lost In Nightmares. If for no other reason than you actually fight. Ok you fight a lot. And goddamn do I mean a lot. If you never played the mercenaries portion of RE5 you are gonna be in for a shock. It's insanity from the getgo and just gets increasingly worse. It's basically a bastard child OF RE5 and Mercenaries. It requires exploration, but there are a ton of Majini on your ass. You need to kill a ton of Majini, but need to do exploration to get to new areas.

Thankfully there are plenty of ammo pickups, but health is a bit on the "oh come on already" side. And the bosses... 8 Chainsaw Majini, 4 Executor Majini, and 2 Gatling Gun Majini. (There might even be more if you kill too many Majini in an area. That was a device of Mercenaries.) Surprisingly though, the Game was chalenging but never aggravating. (Yeah I curse a lot while dying.... and seeing what Capcom was throwing at me next. But I did enjoy myself.)

Which is another big difference between this and LiN. Those Lamprey monsters where just made of pure cheese. And taking your weapons from you was a bullcrap move to end all bullcrap moves. Thankfully, nothing like that happens this time around.

So all and all another worthwhile DLC from Capcom. If you have to choose one, definitely go Desperate Escape. For where as LiN Was more a nostalgic experience, DE Actually feels like a game. And one thats gonna Kick your ass if you haven't played Mercenaries in a year.

Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares - First 60 minutes

Random thoughts

Hahahahaahahahah master of unlocking indeed haaaaaaaaaa!

Hey... wait a minute.... this looks familiar.

Obsessed with cranks heh... Wait a minute.... was that almost good writing from Resident Evil.

This piano looks familiar.....

Zombies?

This Jill playing this piano looks familiar......

Zombies? You their?

This hallway looks familiar......

Zombies? Come out come out wherever you are.

The lighting in this room looks familiar......

Zombies? Hunters? Undead dogs? Disgruntled CPS4 employees? I'll take anything at this point.

This room full of boxes.... no wait, this is new.

Ha I know how this goes. Second time through the hall and.... Yep here comes the...... bat? WTF?

ZOMBIES? HELLO! WHERE THE @#$% ARE YOU!?

Ok I should not be laughing my ass off at Jill getting squished by the spike room. Her reaction was just hilarious though.

Oh cool, this is new.

Yay new monster.....

3 monsters later no more ammo......

Haha! Dumb asses! (My Reaction to Chris and Jill busting there ass while running in a cutscene)

Oh good, now I have no more weapons.....

One aggravating underground puzzle later....

and one long hallway later....

and one overblown Wesker battle later....

and one very familiar CS later....

and.... we are done?

Retrospect

Yep, you can beat RE LiN in about 1 hour. You will be treated to a RE5 style RE1 mansion... with nothing but boxes and flash backs to events in RE1 to keep you company. Then you will go through a prison, fight about 4 axe wielding giant Lamprey headed monsters, run out of ammo, Run out of weapons, run away from 3 more of those damn things. Then finally fight Wesker till you die..... beating the dlc.
Not a bad way to blow 400 ms points.

Bioshock 2 - First 60 minutes

Random thoughts

..... Well the little sisters no longer look like walking ass. Wonder if that's a  cutscene only thing?

Oh Good, My big daddy looks.... like a giant penis in a rain coat...

Making my character shoot himself in the head right before I have any control over him sorta takes away any sense of dramatic impact this scene should have had. I hope this means I'll get to start ripping crap up soon.

Yep here we go..... Take that splicers hahahahahaha.... hee <out of gas> This sucks :/

Ok so the drill was a no go. Lets try out this nifty new rivet gun.....

That's a big sister? That was awesome.

Ok rivet gun was underwhelming,  how about the Gatling gun I just got a hold of....

Good God, these weapons are made of ass and broken promises.... Wait, trap rivets?

Ok seriously I am taking waaaaay too much damage from gunfire. I'm supposed to be an unstoppable wrecking machine of questionable parentage.

Get out of my head creepy eye girl! Booze hound? You almost gave me a heart attack for booze hound?

Ok. Little sisters no longer look like walking ass. Guess 2k Marin realized parents associate children with cute. Therefore, I'll be more willing to save something that doesn't look lik..... Yes, daddies toys have toys.... creepy Tim Burton moppet.

YES! Drill rushing rocks socks!

Retrospect

Once I got over the initial awesome of being a Big Daddy (and the subsequent  disappointment of being a Big Daddy) I actually started to enjoy the game. There is something in the back of my mind telling me that I was supposed to be a giant wrecking ball in Rapture however. Especially since all hell breaks loose when you get a little sister to start harvesting. Waves of enemies would  make sense against a Big Daddy. But not a  Big Daddy who has  armor made of tissue paper and dreams of better days.

Still Drill Rushing rocks socks.