Saturday, February 27, 2010

Deadly Premonition - Full Review - 6.0/10

Summary


Survival Horror murder mystery set in a small town. Kinda like Shenmue meets Resident Evil 4 meets Silent Hill. Could have done much better Just sticking with the Sandbox aspects.

Synopsis


This game seems to be very polarizing at the moment. You either love it or hate it and neither opinion makes much sense.


On the one hand, we have those who hate it. Who look at a 20 dollar title and say "THIS MUST BE GREATEST GFX EVER OR TIS TEH SUX!!!!". These are mostly graphicwhore gamers who are probably better off with a blue ray player and a CG movie with a very well thought out interactive menu. Whether or not they hit pause is the most complex decision they feel safe making.

On the other hand, we have gamers who love things that are not mainstream, just because they are not mainstream. Forgiving whatever flaws this game has based solely on the fact that it didn't come from a big company. This is a form of unqualified elitism that can be best surmised as "Everyone but me is dumb. So if everyone likes it, it must be crap. I like things nobody else likes to be Awesome."

Of course, applying either of these All or Nothing Philosophies to Deadly Premonition is a great way to make yourself look the fool. You either seem like an easily distracted 12 year old with unlimited access to mommy and daddies Credit card. Or you seem like you're freakin crazy when you get caught saying things like "this games gameplay is better then RE5's." or "The combat isn't that bad." So taking a valid, Middle road (ie realistic) approach to this game is really the way to go.

To start us off, lets talk about the worst part. The combat sequences. Their just a heaping helping of horrible suck that all begins with your camera. The game pretends that the rightstick is a camera control right up until it snaps back to the default position upon letting go of the stick. Like some messed up practical joke. Jesus, that is freakin disorienting. And why do this? Leftstick move, rightstick look... why is this so goddamn hard for developers to not play around with. Did they really have to make their over the shoulder gameplay that different from RE5? Did they honestly fool anyone? We all still know where you got the gameplay from so don't make it almost unplayable. And it's a minor gripe, but breaking up the exploration and combat camera's in the options menu meant moving the camera up instead of down my first battle.... (thanks Swery :/)

Speaking of which, the cameras movement itself is finicky as all hell. I ended up aiming at the ceiling half the time. Then the damn floor the other half. Until, of course, I started using auto target. But because of the shittacular camera, going for headshots is pretty much tapping the leftstick in the general direction you want to shoot bullets at. Hoping what you aimed at didn't move too much. (Sometimes they randomly stand there.....) Then tapping back into the correct position. Then hoping to hell the camera decides to cooperate through the whole ordeal. An exercise in tap and pray gameplay. If you are praying to the trickster god Loki of course.

Once you have mastered the intricacies of tap and pray, you realize that the combat mechanics themselves suck ass. Most of the time it feels like you are hitting air. There is very little feedback to let you know you are actually causing damage. Sure, headshots feel like you actually did something, but body shots, for the most part, splatter purple paint all over till something drops.

And what the hell is with all the QTE going on here. There are entire sequences of nothing but QTE. Like the game decided I can't figure out how to runaway on my own. I crap you not, there is a 5 minute long Quick time event where you have to run from the "Raincoat Killer" (tm?) that requires you to waggle the leftstick the whole damn time. Broken up occasionally by some of the most unhurried animations possible for opening doors or climbing obstacles. Picture it, Desperately running away. Followed by opening a door, looking left, looking right, walking past door and waiting for it to close behind you. Then, DESPERATELY RUNNING AWAY AGAIN! I can't tell if the Gameplay needs consistency or York needs bipolar Meds.

And finally.... and this is the last bad I have to say about the game, the shadows.... for something I was so damn impressed by at first (See here) These came across sorely disappointing. They sound horrid, they move horrid and they just come across as utterly thrown together. Like something that needed to be shoehorned into the game at the last second.

And that pretty much sums up the combat experience, shoehorned in to appease somebody. It's almost as if the developers just weren't confident in there oddball detective game and decided they needed to add survival horror elements in there to make it into a game. And there is very little survival (Infinite ammo weapons to start?) nor Horror (are you older than 5? than you can't be afraid of the shadows.) But, as I will get into in the second section, there is a perfectly fine oddball detective game in DP. No Silent-evil-tower (Resident-clock-hill?) needed.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Deadly Premonition - First 60 Minutes

Random Thoughts



Very long but surprisingly cool opening CS. (Should I count it for the F60M?)

Tom and Jerry in an Sado-Masochism relationship? Ok I love the writing to this game so far. XD

.....did those.... did those chipmunks|squirrels|whatevers just screech like monkeys?

.... is he swallowing smoke!?

Where the hell is the light coming from... it says flash light.... looks like he is holding it in his mouth.... or has he magic glowing nipples?

The hell is wrong with this camera?

Oh look it's the creepy woman from the screen shot.... the exact same screen shot. Is she trying to rip out my tongue?

.... seriously, the camera controls suck.

why is their blood purple.... wait a minute {Goes into options screen to check blood option} yep ok.... lets turn it OFF I guess and.... Green? ok back to purple.....

"Don't Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiil MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Amazing."

".... Don't want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!"

"Don't Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiil MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Amazing."

".... Don't want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!"

"Don't Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiil MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Amazing."

".... Don't want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!"

Yeah combat isn't getting old...... :/

Most horrifying thing about this game so far is the camera controls....

Oh good! Quick time events with catastrophic failure. ^^ My favorite.......

{runs through area again}

Oh good! Quick time events with changing button layout and catastrophic failure. ^^ My favorite.......

{runs through area AGAIN}

Is that a cookie or a muffin I just got for my first achievement?

Retrospect



Well, I said back in my looking forward that this game had to prove otherwise on my Survival Horror Sandbox theory.... It did. There is neither survival (Infinite Handgun ammo? Lulz) nor horror in this game. Unless you count constant, repetitive, badly dubbed, low tempo moaning as frighting. The camera controls are terrifyingly bad though.

However, right after the combat, I got right into the sandbox portion. And after playing the game proper for a little bit the investigation part seems rather interesting. I'll get back with a full review in a few days.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mass Effect 2 - Full Review - 8.9/10

Summary


Kinda like Oceans Eleven Dirty Dozen Gears of War err... an RPG in space.



Gameplay 93/100


I was going to write about how people need to stop complaining about inventory screens. Changed my mind half way when I re-read what I had and realized how much venom was posted in that. I also realized these people are obviously deficient in some mental faculty and therefore I should "be nice". I'll just leave it at "If you can't read properly, don't make life worse for those who can" and call it a day.



That being said, I like what BioWare did to the inventory system :D ....almost. Part of the problem with ME1's inventory was people who needed more realism in their video games. You know, the ones that complain about monsters dropping loose change. So RPG developers have been coming up with all sorts of gimmicks to explain how you are getting your money. Body parts, gear, items you can later craft into more expensive doodads. The list goes on and on.

And it's working... Almost. ME1's system was born of this mindset. Get weapons, ammo and armor drops from mobs and sell them back for credits. Problems arose from the sheer number of drops you got. Often times this clogged up your inventory, not allowing you to pick up anything new. And Jumping Jesus on a Jackhammer was it a bitch and a half to clear out your inventory when this happened. Especially ammo... (Do I need this? Should I gel it? What the hell was I just looking at 3 items ago?) So instead of trying to fix the mess effect (OK feel dirty now -_-) of the old inventory system, they just 86 the whole thing and start from scratch.

Sounds good... And I'm sure some focus group was involved with the new system. (Question one, how do you feel about inventory systems in video games: "Durp Hurt brain make words do Durp"{Smash head into clipboard till it's pried out of their hands by Volunteers At EA headquarters.}) So ya, we get a handful of weapons now and we get to upgrade them. Which is perfectly fine.... BUT CAN I PLEASE SEE WHAT THE HELL I JUST UPGRADED BIOWARE? PLEASE? WITH A GODDAMN CHERRY ON TOP? Would the durpapods seriously complained if each weapon had a status screen? They're probably too stupid to find the weapon locker on the ship anyway.(Remember "Be nice")
Yes I know they have an upgrade tab on your private terminal but it's an unsortable mess after you get 15-20 upgrades. Besides, doesn't actually show the stats of the weapons now doe's it?

Oddly enough though, I really have very little problem with the other changes made by BioWare. The streamlining of the XP system, the removal of the "HillClimber: Get up that Goddamn hill" Mini game (Yes the Mako) or the way they present the story like chapters in a book.(nice mix of linear and free form story telling there) It's obvious they realized they had a much better action game than RPG there. (Stat based aiming in realtime = fail) and adding RPG elements to an action game works just fine. Hell you can add RPG elements to anything and it will work.

The gameplay itself is constantly compared to Gears of War. (Cover based shooter) And fans tend to take serious offense at this. Which is silly if you think about it. Not like GoW was a bad game. And it's not like every game is new and original. We wouldn't have Silent Hill, Saint's Row or Half Life if the industry had an aversion to improving on previous ideas. It's probably the decades long polarization of RPG and Shooter fans. And since the industry is constantly mixing the two genres. We, as fans, should probably knock that Super Silly Shat off.

So yes, I (mostly) love the changes to the gameplay from ME1. Love the cover based gameplay ripped from GoW. :p And love the absence of having to slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly climb hills in the mako. They did replace the latter with a probing minigame...... OK so it's not all good. I guess probing was added to make even "1xp per mob, 10k xp to next level" grinders bored out of there skulls. Is this a preamble for excuses for further removal of RPGness from ME3? (Remember probing ya biatches? This is why we took this other thing out.) Or a halfhearted attempt to please ME1 fans? Only time will tell.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Resident Evil 5: Lost in Nightmares - First 60 minutes

Random thoughts


Hahahahaahahahah master of unlocking indeed haaaaaaaaaa!



Hey... wait a minute.... this looks familiar.

Obsessed with cranks heh... Wait a minute.... was that almost good writing from Resident Evil.

This piano looks familiar.....

Zombies?

This Jill playing this piano looks familiar......

Zombies? You their?

This hallway looks familiar......

Zombies? Come out come out wherever you are.

The lighting in this room looks familiar......

Zombies? Hunters? Undead dogs? Disgruntled CPS4 employees? I'll take anything at this point.

This room full of boxes.... no wait, this is new.

Ha I know how this goes. Second time through the hall and.... Yep here comes the...... bat? WTF?

ZOMBIES? HELLO! WHERE THE @#$% ARE YOU!?

Ok I should not be laughing my ass off at Jill getting squished by the spike room. Her reaction was just hilarious though.

Oh cool, this is new.

Yay new monster.....

3 monsters later no more ammo......

Haha! Dumb asses! (My Reaction to Chris and Jill busting there ass while running in a cutscene)

Oh good, now I have no more weapons.....

One aggravating underground puzzle later....

and one long hallway later....

and one overblown Wesker battle later....

and one very familiar CS later....

and.... we are done?

Retrospect


Yep, you can beat RE LiN in about 1 hour. You will be treated to a RE5 style RE1 mansion... with nothing but boxes and flash backs to events in RE1 to keep you company. Then you will go through a prison, fight about 4 axe wielding giant Lamprey headed monsters, run out of ammo, Run out of weapons, run away from 3 more of those damn things. Then finally fight Wesker till you die..... beating the dlc.
Not a bad way to blow 400 ms points.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Looking Forward #1 - Deadly Premonition.

Wanted to do this on the new RE5 DLC. But, by the time this is out, It will have been released. Unless there is a delay..... (Capcom =/= EA, Capcom =/= EA, Capcom =/= EA)



Anyway less stupid, more forward of the sight internal.



So I ran across screens of the game Deadly Premonition about a year back and told myself "midgets? WTF?" and that pretty much ended my interest in the game right there. Not that I have anything against little people. Just these two had a "Murderous Moppets" vibe going on. And that's a bad thing.

However then I ran across this.
Yes from IGN. Also, she seems oddly happy
and now I can't wait for it to get released.

So yes, in my mind, Little people that bear a tenuous link (apparently being short and two of is all I need) too two irritating characters from a late night TV show = bad. Creepy doll, woman... thing with no eyes = good. Now if you are worried about my state of mental health..... Trust me. You are not as worried as I am....

So what is Deadly Premonitions exactly? Sandbox Survival Horror would probably best describe it. Now true, it will probably be more on the horror side and less on the survival side of the coin. It would have to be a pretty crappy sandbox setup if your MC was running low on supplies continuously. And sandbox horror sounds like a 3 year old getting his head stuck in a bucket. So I'm going with Sandbox survival horror unless the game proves otherwise.

Also of note, The production director Swery (that's it? Swery? No last name? ..... Seriously?) had this to say on the promotional site.

Swery: "Another feature I want you to try out is "Stalking.""

note: Almost shat myself laughing when I read that. Probably because I pictured Swery bolting upright from a dead sleep screaming "They won't know Unless I tell them! All that work for nothing!!"

Ok put the pitchforks and bullhorns down, and put that nearly broken soapbox away. Not JP-ERO-GAME stalking. He means Shenmue Stalking. You know, following characters around to see what the developers programmed them to do.

Now I'm not looking forward to being a virtual voyeur (that got old quick in Shenmue) but there is something neat about characters following a schedule. It worked semi better in Fallout 3 and Oblivion then it did in Shenmue. (Admittedly, only in as far as there are way more things to do in the former games than the latter one.) And it does open up interesting gameplay possibilities. (Wow. The old man who shows up to eat breakfast here every morning isn't here now. Wonder if zombies got him.) but that of course assumes you'll pay attention to these details.

Speaking of details. You apparently need to shave and change clothes in this game as well. Lest you become a smelly, hairy vagrant nobody wants to talk to. Which sucks, when you consider you are supposed to be a detective solving a murder case. (Oh did I forget mentioning that? sorry XD)

But most importantly, At least for me. Is it's $20.00 price tag. And 20 bucks is good enough reason to try out something new. Be back on the 23-24th with my first impressions on this. (feb. 23rd release)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Bioshock 2 - Full review - 6.9/10

Summary


Been there, done that, rehashed to hell and back. Still fun though.



Gameplay 80/100


For those of you who haven't played the original Bioshock (I won't be so cliched as to mention things about rocks and living under them.... wait I just did) Bioshock 2's gameplay can be surmised as an FPS with light (emphasis on light) RPG elements.


And this worked fine in BS1. Run through a structurally faulty (more so this time around) underwater city. Pick off crazed, genetically modified, superpowered vagrants (most common superpower being "talk to yourself" apparently). Collect Adam (XP to you and me) from little girls protected by Mechanical deep sea divers. Use Adam to get useful powers and upgrades. Make moral decisions which can be summarized as "Are you a child murderer (Yes?|No?)". It worked well then, no reason it shouldn't now.

Unless you where expecting something new. In which case.... you have protecting Little sisters to look forward to I guess. See, you get to harvest Adam this time around from dead bodies. Not just from ganking sea slugs from deformed children.

Also, trap rivets and mini turrets... which is kinda part of the latter. Just cover the little sister with the damn things while harvesting and go hide in a corner. What, you where expecting to be an unstoppable hulk of an armored suit? Nope! Go hide in that corner! Hack some camera's and turrets while you are at it. Last thing you want to do is get smacked in the face by the handle of a hand gun. And die.... You hear that? That's the other Big Daddies laughing their collective asses off at you.

And this game really drives that point home... The point being 2k Marin couldn't decide if they wanted you to be a Big Daddy or average joe fps guy. They settled on subaverage daddy fps guy but forgot to take out all the bits for Big Daddy. This shows when you are swamped by splicers and end up running for your life to avoid bullet wounds. Yes Bullet wounds. And they made such a big deal about showing how indestructible Big D's where in Bioshock....

Being a Big Daddy (which is the rough equivelent of say, playing as M.Bison in SF2 Champ. Edition or playing as Magus in Chrono Trigger) comes off as massively unfulfilling in BS2. Least Drill rush makes up for this. Sorta.... Ok no, it doesn't make up for it at all.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Bioshock 2 - First 60 minutes

Random thoughts


..... Well the little sisters no longer look like walking ass. Wonder if that's a  cutscene only thing?

Oh Good, My big daddy looks.... like a giant penis in a rain coat...

Making my character shoot himself in the head right before I have any control over him sorta takes away any sense of dramatic impact this scene should have had. I hope this means I'll get to start ripping crap up soon.

Yep here we go..... Take that splicers hahahahahaha.... hee <out of gas> This sucks :/

Ok so the drill was a no go. Lets try out this nifty new rivet gun.....

That's a big sister? That was awesome.

Ok rivet gun was underwhelming,  how about the Gatling gun I just got a hold of....

Good God, these weapons are made of ass and broken promises.... Wait, trap rivets?

Ok seriously I am taking waaaaay too much damage from gunfire. I'm supposed to be an unstoppable wrecking machine of questionable parentage.

Get out of my head creepy eye girl! Booze hound? You almost gave me a heart attack for booze hound?

Ok. Little sisters no longer look like walking ass. Guess 2k Marin realized parents associate children with cute. Therefore, I'll be more willing to save something that doesn't look lik..... Yes, daddies toys have toys.... creepy Tim Burton moppet.

YES! Drill rushing rocks socks!

Retrospect


Once I got over the initial awesome of being a Big Daddy (and the subsequent  disappointment of being a Big Daddy) I actually started to enjoy the game. There is something in the back of my mind telling me that I was supposed to be a giant wrecking ball in Rapture however. Especially since all hell breaks loose when you get a little sister to start harvesting. Waves of enemies would  make sense against a Big Daddy. But not a  Big Daddy who has  armor made of tissue paper and dreams of better days.

Still Drill Rushing rocks socks.